I can haz companion?

                                    Every so often, we long to steal,
                               To the land of what "Might-Have-Been",
                                But that doesn't soften the ache we feel,
                                         When reality sets back in;
                               He could be that boy, but I'm not that girl.
                           From the musical "Wicked"- I'm Not That Girl

I'm sick of feeling selfish because I hate seeing them together. Honestly, what the hell did I do to deserve constantly feeling lonely and betrayed? That sounds so pathetic, but it's true. It's easy to say that there's nothing wrong with you to have never dated someone in your life, right now a Sophomore in high school, and I firmly beleive that's true, but it's becoming less firm, and harder to listen to when you see happy couples in the hallway and read books where the dork finds someone regardless.
...When is it my turn?
It doesn't have to be him, I'd almost prefer it didn't since it feels like he's always after one of my friends, but I want someone.
Or for time to magically go threeish years in the future so I can finally go to college. <3
That actually sounds better.
Since the time thing is probably not going to happen over night, right now I'll settle for her backing off and realizing that some things never actually change, even if you lie and say they have.
I just need time to actually decipher my feeings and to not feel like I have friends that would sell me down the river in a minute because they feel the same "must-have-boyfriend" craze that is always lurking in high school, and my inner mind. Bahhh.